Secret #5

Ok I am not yet ready to admit all my motherly flaws...because there are too many I swear. But right now my biggest problem is not giving in to my darling squishy baby every time she cries at night. Jude was such a bad sleeper that I was very strict and now he sleeps great. Hazel is a great sleeper but I want to cuddle her all the time, but NO I will be strong and teach my children how to sleep. I will not get Hazel out of her bed when she cries at night! Ok I have committed. It is so hard to have your kids grow up too fast! She will thank me later....I hope.

Kellee Moon

Secret #4

So I have definitely been neglecting this blog. And most things that involve the internet and computers...and well screens of all types to be completely honest. I realized after taking my kids to their well child check ups that our "screen" time was getting a little out of hand. And by out of hand I mean 10-12 hours too many. A confession I am absolutely mortified to confess. However, I decided it was time to dust off the games, coloring books, playdough, stickers, and all other means of entertainment that didn't contain a screen and revamp our lives. The first few days were extremely long and exhausting as I was catapulted into a new realm of motherhood. Okay so I am sort of exaggerating. We do those things a lot but this winter we have spent quite a bit of time being sick and the fact that the freezing cold weather was and is continuing to rain on our parade clear into the month of May we have been getting a little lazy with our play methods and as a result the tv has been getting a lot of usage. But not so anymore.

In fact the last few weeks we have hardly turned it on. And never for more than an hour all day long. Its AMAZING the difference in everyone's attitude. Especially mine. Just not having the excess noise has done wonders for my sanity. Also I have so thoroughly enjoyed emerging myself in play with my kids. Yes the laundry and the dishes are piled a bit higher than they normally are and the grime that so quickly collects on every surface seems to be getting a bit grimeier. But it doesn't matter because we are having fun and everyone is so happy. We wrestle, and read, and create, and explore, and sing at the top of our lungs, and play hard all day long and at the end of the day I look around at the mess and think "a job well done".

So refreshing to not be so bogged down with the monotoney that can so often creep into motherhood. To let things go just for awhile and remind myself that nothing is more exciting that watching your kids grow up. See things for the very first time. And watch as they express their little personalities in so many different ways. Of course I still have my time.  My precious running time where no one can find me and I am free to gather my thoughts and rejuevenate. But when I come home its no longer about me and the more I remind myself of that the more I enjoy every moment. Even the ones where everyone is screaming at me. And trust me we have a LOT of those moments.

So goodbye to the TV. We will be keeping the thumb sucking around though and Ryder's juice is a must. But you can't do everything right as a parent ALL the time. Honestly. Baby steps right?

What are some habits good or bad you have in your family?

Secret #3

All my life I have been only too aware of my limitations. It often
feels like all I know is that some things will never be enough.

There is never enough time.
Never enough money.
I don't have enough strength or energy.
Not enough patience with my kids.
Not enough knowledge, wisdom, or experience.
Determination, ambition, talent, creativity.
The list felt like the only thing that was limitless......

Then a new thought came to me one day... one I can't really take
credit for. I realized that there is one thing that I have in
abundance and truly there is a never ending supply if I can learn to
tap into it. It may sound cheesy but I was extremely comforted by the
thought of endless unconditional Love. The one thing I can give. More
and More. The one thing I can give no matter what to anyone without
pulling myself down, running myself into the ground, or hurting anyone
else around me. (Of course that only works if we have great boundaries
because as I have learned in my life some people are best loved from a
distance.) That said I think I finally am beginning to understand what
it means to "lose yourself in the service of others" not to try to do
so much that I truly end up losing myself and going crazy, but to lose
my self-centered way of thinking and instead focus on all the
possibilities that can happen through love.

Call it what you like but for those of us feeling inadequate and warn
down at least we have one thing going for us. Real, True, Christ-like
Charity. Just a thought.

Anonymous

Question #1

My husband and I have been married for 3 wonderful years and we've always had a great relationship!
Now that we are new parents to a two month old we are having a hard time juggling the demands of new parenthood and our relationship as husband and wife. I am constantly exhausted, and because he works 10 hours a day he's not the energizer bunny either.
I want to know how you other parents out there keep your relationship alive! And I'm not just referring to in the bedroom. But what are some ways you are able to make parenting mix with being a good wife and friend to your husband? How are you able to find the time and energy to still have fun and romantic times with your spouse?

Jessica

Secret #2

Okay people...I see that maybe I need to do the first few posts to get things moving. I know life is crazy busy and the last thing on your check list is this blog but I really think it could be a good resource for all of us and frankly some days we all just need someone to talk to about the everyday stuff. So I urge you to just jot some thoughts down next time you have a few moments of peace. It doesn't have to be deep or extraordinary. Simple is great. Its exactly what I am looking for.

Well considering how hectic this day has been and how I planned to go to bed 2 hours ago (yes at 730). I will keep it simple. 

One Item I just could NOT live without that I think every woman who does laundry should stock in their homes is...

Pink Soap. (aka Zote)

I am not even kidding when I say this stuff gets E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G out. Even if I have washed and dried something before I realize it has a stain all I have to do is scrub it with this stuff and amazingly it gets it out. Awesome stuff. Also I posted a recipe for making it into a liquid detergent below if anyone is interested in doing that. I haven't tried it yet but I know of several people that do and use it for every wash. 

Liquid Zote Recipe:

1/3 bar Zote
1/2 C washing soda
1/2 C borax powder
small bucket (2-5 gallon)

Grate the soap and put it in a sauce pan. Add 6 cups of water and heat until soap melts. Add the washing soda and the borax and stir until it dissolves. Remove from heat. Pour 4 cups of hot water into the bucket. Now add your soap mixture and stir. Then add 1 gallon plus 6 cups of water and stir. Let soap sit for about 24 hours and it will gel. Use 1/2 C per load.

Now, the finished soap will not be a solid gel - it will be a thick gel, though.... Also, it is a low sudsing soap, so don't worry if you open the washer lid and don't see suds all over the place....
If you want your soap to have a scent, you can add 1/2 to 1 ounce of essential oil or fragrance oil when you are mixing it up. (There is a difference in the two, but I read up on it and so far, it says that they can be used interchangeably for the purpose of making detergent....)

Secret #1

I feel like I have been dating men for ages. I have been high, I have been low. I have been "madly in love" and "madly in hate". Generally the emotions are strong, whichever way they go. However. Things in the last couple of years seem to have changed. I am filled with apathy. And I am starting to realize that apathy may just be the worst - cause it means you don't care. And quite frankly I feel like I don't care. I go on dates with boys and I'm thinking...somethings gotta give...somethings gotta give...but it never does. They sit before me and I view them the same way I would view a statue. My heart is cold, my brain is somewhat aware, I study their face...their clothing...their thoughts. I feel nothing for them, but I am there, just like them. Starig at nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. And then I walk away, and the next statue comes along. Only to be studied, when he's hoping to be loved. Only to be looked at, when he's hoping to be looked into. Only to be disappointed when he finds out how boring I am...because I'm tired of putting on shows.

Anonymous

The "Real" Secret

I have a secret. 

I like when it's real.

 I like to hear real stories from real people. 

I can read all the articles in the world about every possible subject under the sun but hearing it straight from the source... well there is nothing quite like it. 

And so one night as I was lying awake (wishing I was asleep because both my kids were) 

I wondered what if I could have a virtual sleepover with women all over the world? 

What if I could be a fly on the wall and watch their everyday experiences?

 Imagine what I could learn. 

Imagine what I could do.

 So the idea came to me- 

Why not create a blog where anyone, anywhere can write in and talk about 

well... anything REAL. 

 Secrets they have tested and tried. 

Not just about parenting but about real life experiences that have polished them into the individual they are today. 
Maybe you read a good book, found an interesting website, or a new exercise routine you love. 
Maybe you have a work woe, or a challenging assignment.
 Maybe it's how you have learned to handle the joy (or chaos) of children or a child with great need. 
Maybe you are unable to have children and are filled with sadness and discouragement. Maybe you have a learning experience to share, or maybe just need a brain dump.
 Whatever the reason, whatever the information. 
The possibilities are endless. 

The blogging world paints the picture that everyone's life is all laughter and smiles. 

That every child is a beautiful genius and every marriage perfectly put together. 

When in reality we are all experiencing the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

Sometimes all at once. 

But its nice to hear every now and then

 that you aren't the ONLY person experiencing these things.

Whether its dealing with food allergies, or a 3 year old that refuses to poop on the toilet it would be wonderful to know that I am indeed not alone in this great race

 and that maybe someone out there has an idea I haven't thought of yet that could make my life that much better. 

So here is my one plea...

Open up.

There is nothing MORE refreshing than being honest.

And if you don't have something to talk about... then ask a question thats been on your mind.

We all know what pillow talk is like at sleepovers and since we can't all get together what a great way to share ideas and learn things we never could have otherwise.

Ready. Set. Go

P.S  how this will work: You leave a comment with your secret or question and I will turn it into a post. Make sure you let me know if you want it to be anonymous or what not. If you would rather email send it to jenaleehayes@gmail.com

And to all you strangers... welcome.